How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Randomize
