OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
