Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
