benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
