Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
