I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
