So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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