Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
