i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
