you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
