Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
