I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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