I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
