Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
