Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
