can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
