the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
