sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
