i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
