And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
