Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
