if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
