trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
