operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
