508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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