walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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