ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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