Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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