I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
