thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
