Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
