Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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