She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
