My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
