My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
