I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
