I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
