so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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