Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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