When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
