he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
