Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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