i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
