youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
