she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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