Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
