dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
