he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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