they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
