she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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