Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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