are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
