I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
