Where is the hickey?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How external is "for external use only"?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
