that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
