Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
