if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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