That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
