I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
