if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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