I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
