New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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