I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
