Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm at about main and main street
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
