I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
